Wednesday 9 May 2012

Vous Voyez Ce Que Je Veux Dire?

This phrase is a bit of a bĂȘte noir for me, know what I mean? A couple of years ago, I had a client who had the irritating verbal tic of repeating his every point at least a half dozen times and then rounding it all off with this phrase. At first, I thought it was because I was foreign and therefore evidently thick as a plank, but after a while I realised he didn't really know he was doing it, so I became more relaxed about it.

My main issue with the phrase, though, is that I have never managed to say it without virtually swallowing my tongue in the process. Properly uttered, it should come out as an elegant whole and sound something like "V' v'yez sk'j'vuddire". I can't seem to manage successfully the transition from "sk" to "je" to "v".

I wished badly for it this week though. I returned from an appointment one morning to find hubby waving a bit of paper with a phone number on it and saying could I phone this person back because he hadn't been able to follow what she wanted. The ensuing call with a clearly elderly person proceeded along the lines of:

"Hello, this is Zoe Holt ... you wanted to talk to me"
"Yes. Are you the one with a house for sale?"
"Well yes, Madame; I am an estate agent; I have many houses for sale"
"Can you tell me where it is?"
"I need to know which house you are talking about ... do you have a reference number?"
"It's in La Souterraine"
"Yes, but do you have a reference? Or perhaps a price, to help me know which one it is?"
"I just want to know the address"
"But I don't know which house you mean"
"Oh, well, if you don't want to tell me the address ..."
"It's not that I don't want to, but I cannot tell which house you are referring to unless you can give me some more information"
"It says here it has an entrance hall, living room, kitchen, 3 bedrooms ..."
"Hmmm, but I have many houses like that: I need something to help me identify it"
"It's 176,000 euros"
"I don't think I have anything in La Souterraine for that price right now - is there a reference number?"
"The reference is xxxxx"
" Ah, that number is not one of my references. Have you perhaps got the wrong agent?"
"I just want to know where it is"
"I can't tell you where it is if I don't know what house it is. I think you may have called the wrong agent"
"It says here [repeats entire house description again] and Orpi"
"Right! [with relief] The house is for sale with Orpi agency. You are talking to Holt. The house is not one of mine. I don't know this house."
"I just want to know the address"
"It isn't for sale with me; it's for sale with Orpi. You must ring Orpi"
"Ah well, it's not for me anyway. If you won't tell me the address, I'll have to get him to ring you .... "

A few days later, I answered to phone to a much younger man:
"Hello, I'm enquring about a house you have for sale in La Souterraine"
" Very good, Monsieur ... do you have a reference?"
"I'm not sure what the reference is, but it's 176,000 euros"
"Ah ... did someone else call me about this some days ago?"
"Yes, but I want to know the address"
"I believe you have the wrong agency and this is not one of my houses. I think the house is for sale with Orpi? I am Holt Immo"
"Oh, well, OK, but can you just tell me the address ..."





9 comments:

  1. You must have so much patience....a great story, I can just imagine your frustration by the time of the second call. J.

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  2. I am not by nature a patient person, but France teaches you things :)

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  3. Lovely, if frustrating story!

    We used to have a number similar to that of the local doctor and there was one elderly lady who would not be put off when she rang...we had to have every one of her husband's symptoms described before she would take in the information that she needed to reverse to numbers to get to the doctor.

    My husband reckoned she was getting into practice before unleashing her spiel on the unfortunate doctor...

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  4. oh dear...must proof read...'not 'to' but 'two'

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  5. Where's the head-banging emoticon, Zoe? I hope for the sake of your temper and indeed your sanity that you don't get too many of these calls.

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  6. I do seem to get rather more than my fair share of this type of call ... on different topics, of course, but the circular conversation is a common theme. I'm not sure if it is down to me or whether the French are just very poor listeners :) :)

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  7. AAAAARGH! I feel your pain! Had the opposite experience with a friend who was (vaguely) house-hunting. We went IN to the Immo's and there was no doubt they were selling this particular property because they had a photo of it in the window. My friend wanted to know a rough location, as she wasn't going to go and see it if it was in a place that didn't interest her. "We can't tell you the location unless you make an appointment to view" "I don't want to view if it's in the wrong place for me" "Yes, but we can't tell you the location unless you make an appointment..." and so on. Polite insistence that a simple narrowing down of the location to a radius of 5Km or so would be adequate fell on deaf ears. Selectively deaf ears..

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  8. Hee, hee.
    Some agents are unecessarily cagey about whereabouts of houses, but it is a bit of a tricky one because (apart from the risk of losing a negotiation fee), we have a legal obligation not to reveal precise locations and to accompany all viewings. Still, naming the commune is usually safe enough!

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